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How the
Shaping the Child concept came to be When I first started graduate school, my goal was to do everything within my power to help families. As I was completing my Masters in Counseling I was able to do my practicum, working in the homes of families rather than in an office environment. I was able to see firsthand the desperate need for healthy families. I continually saw the dysfunction in homes and observed the same dysfunctional behaviors in the children. Parents so often wanted me to "fix" their children without understanding the children were too often a product of the disfunction of the parents.
"My biggest goal and passion is to help families become as healthy as possible in a very difficult society and world."
On a daily basis I would try to help the children I worked with to learn how to move forward in their lives. Sadly, the children were not the problem, but the parents and so often the home environment. I was hired to specifically go into the homes and help the families clean up the messes from the continual catastrophes in their lives. We would work on the goals and objectives in their treatment plans but as soon as we felt they were ready to be discharged, another disaster would happen at home, sending the children back to square one.
It was this frustration that drove me to my passion of helping families differently than just through therapy. I felt the need to teach, coach and work with parents. However, when I had the child as the patient, it seemed that I was going through the back door, when I really needed to go through the front door by helping the parents. A local Probation Officer asked my boss if she had any of her staff who might be interested in teaching a parenting class. When she asked for a volunteer, my hand shot up immediately. The timing was perfect and I was so excited. Thus, the “Building the Child” Parenting Class was born. Each class began by discussing the way “explosions” occur in our lives and families. When explosions happen, we must clean up the mess. Before we are able to rebuild, we must repair the foundation if it is cracked or broken. Once that foundation is secure, we can rebuild, stronger than ever. We all deal with explosions in our lives. The blessings come when we can go from a difficult time and end up healthier and happier than before. When it came to actually naming the class, I thought a little deeper about the meaning of the word “build”. It sounds strong, but a little rigid and tough - not a very appealing description of a loving parent. Because of my love for sculpting, I decided to use “Sculpting the Child” but then I could picture chipping away at a chunk of rock to make it as I wanted. That is fine for sculpting a rock, but again, not quite right for parenting children. "A dear friend suggested “Shaping the Child”. One of the things I enjoy about sculpting is when I begin by working the hard, cold and rigid clay. Slowly and gently it becomes warm, soft and pliable. It is a perfect description for helping to shape our children. They respond so much better to gentle, loving, encouraging parents, thus creating the perfect opportunity for teaching and guiding children." |
