DO YOU KNOW OR UNDERSTAND HOW PORNOGRAPHY CAN BECOME AN ADDICTION?
TOO MANY PEOPLE DON'T! A MUST READ, ESPECIALLY TO HELP YOUR WHOLE FAMILY!
I am including a portion of my book, Rebuilding After the Explosions: Helping Parents Put the Pieces Back Together, pp. 155-157 (I have added the larger print and color to add emphasis to Tim's more important points, in my opinion.)
The addictions of alcohol, illicit drugs, tobacco and gambling are serious enough on their own; however, the one that does not get enough attention and is possibly the most misunderstood is the horrific addiction of pornography. It has never been innocent, however; comparing the 1960’s with today, it is off the chart terrifying.
I left this for last because it is a little more involved than what appears to be obvious to most people. It is extremely important for you to understand what is happening so you are able to educate your children on the risks involved with pornography and its addictive properties. It is especially vital for your children to understand the seriousness and dangerous nature of sexting, meaning texting sexual pictures.
I knew how important it was for me to address this, however, I was unsure how to go about it and one reason is that I was afraid to Google pornography because of what I knew would pop up. I didn’t want any images in my mind and I also did not want to have that search on my computer.
One day while I was writing this book, an interview by Glenn Beck caught my attention. I had previously seen an interview Glenn did with Tim Ballard concerning the child trafficking problem. I cried throughout the whole program and knew I wanted to donate to “Operation Underground Railroad”. Glenn has begun to help Tim and his fellow workers have the funds to rescue children from sex trafficking.
Glenn interviewed Tim concerning the experiences he and his team had while rescuing children in South America from sex trafficking. It was a heartbreaking show to listen to because of the kind of treatment these poor children endured and yet I was so thrilled that someone was aggressively tackling the problem. I was so moved by Tim’s emotion and passion to help rescue these poor, abused children.
Tim Ballard talked mostly about rescuing the children and then Glenn asked him what happens to men that they could possibly use, abuse and molest children. Tim hesitated and then said, “You won’t want to hear this.” Right then, I said out loud, “Pornography” and yes, the answer was pornography.
Tim is right. People do not want to believe that pornography is harmful.
I saw a shocking statistic during my research concerning how many people in America did not believe there was any problem viewing pornography. It was around 75% and the number was nearly as high for women as it was for men.
It has only been a few years since I knew there were programs like AA to help people with pornography addictions. At the time I really did not understand how that could become an addiction.
Tim went on to say that pornography is like a drug and the more a person consumes, the more they want and need to satisfy that addiction. Like alcoholics and drug addicts need more and more of the substance to fulfill that addiction, so it is with pornography. From what Mr. Ballard said, apparently what shocked and thrilled in the beginning, won’t shock and thrill later. It just continues to escalate!
At first it might be pornography of women since that is the most common, then it would be men, teens and eventually children and that is how men and women get in the business of child sex trafficking.
In the case of pornography Tim Ballard explained that just like needing a drug, addicts need more and more perverse behavior and experiences to satisfy. I hope you will see the huge problem pornography can become and take steps to help your family avoid it like the plague that it is. This is really, really important for you to understand.
In 2003, Bureau of Justice Statistics surveys have shown that 70 percent of all men in prison for a sex crime were men whose victim was a child. In almost half of the child-victim cases, the child was the prisoner's own son or daughter or other relative. (1)
Since 35% of the men were fathers, doesn’t it make sense that they are likely viewing pornography in the home and I would say the chances are good the pornography being viewed would be child porn. That is such an incredibly sad and horrific statistic. Taken from pages 155- 157 in Rebuilding After the Explosions: Helping Parents Put the Pieces Back Together, written by Jane E. Jenkins.
As if child sex trafficking isn’t horrific enough, let me share with you the information I found in the book Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children written by McIlhaney, J.S. & Bush, F.M.(2) By the way, the new term “hooking up” means that people have sex with no expectation of any permanent relationship.
“Hooking up” is also known as FWB (short for “Friends With Benefits”). These are friendships (and often complete strangers) with non-committed sexual activity with many different partners.
Popular culture would have us believe that young people should become involved in sex when they feel ready, and that with proper precautions, everything will be fine. But the facts tell a very different story.
Let’s look at a few sad statistics:
With these statistics, is it any wonder these girls are out looking for love as they “hook up” and then likely end up being even more depressed and suicidal?
My heartfelt thanks go out to the men who are taking care of their families.
Parents, don’t think for a second that you are not having an effect on your children. A strong, healthy relationship does matter for them. Look at these statistics.
Concerning teenage boys:
Going back to the time of sexual awakening, important research into the phenomenon of puberty has yielded some important discoveries. It has been found that in situations with poor or unhealthy parent-teenager relations, teenage boys with high testosterone levels were more likely to engage in risky behavior of all kinds, including sex.(4)
Concerning teenage girls:
Teenage girls with poor parental relationships were more likely to engage in similar risky behavior. Yet in each case, research has found that home environment had greater influence on behavior than hormone levels and if parent-child relations were good, hormone levels do not seem to matter at all regarding risky sexual behavior.(5)
Michael D. Resnick, Ph.D., and his coauthors showed that adolescents who were strong enough to avoid sexual involvement had three primary things in common:
There are many divorced men and women out there who are staying connected with their children. A father’s love and attention can help your children stay away from “hooking up”.
Although the book Hooked was written in 2008, I still consider this research to be fairly new. Let‘s look at some fascinating research about the brain.
Today, thanks to breakthroughs in neuroscience research techniques, scientists have been able to literally view the activity of the brain as it functions. With state-of-the-art mapping and imaging tools, researchers have unlocked a new world of data on what happens between your ears each day.(6)
Chemicals once again come into play, “…new methods of tracking brain chemicals have allowed scientists to understand when and how much of these chemicals are released and how they influence behavior.”(7)
The authors continue, “What we now know from science is what some have been saying for years – that the largest and most important sex organ is the brain. In fact, the brain itself is being molded by sexual behavior.”(8)
Doctors McIlhaney and Bush describe how “The brain is moldable and adaptable from before birth until death. It is not a rigid, immutable structure, but an organ that can grow and flex.”(9)
“…new research indicates, our interest in sex is built into our brains.” The authors go on to say that it must be in order to be able to overcome the “natural hesitation to become very personal with someone else.”(10)
It is so important to understand that:
…if we try to eliminate this connectedness from sex, we remove the uniquely human aspect of it, and the sexual act becomes nothing more than raw animal behavior. However, when this connectedness is allowed to mature in the context of a lifelong committed relationship, sex is a wonderful, sustaining expression of love.(11)
The human brain is formed so that at birth it demands “connecting” to other human beings. Here is how Allan Schore of the UCLA School of Medicine says it: “We are born to form attachments…our brains are basically wired to develop in tandem with another’s, through emotional communication, beginning before words are spoken.”(12)
I want to address the adolescent brain again for a moment.
Adolescent brains can also be negatively molded by unstructured experiences or bad input such as neglect, poor guidance, poor structure, or lack of discipline. For these unfortunate youth, this means that the guidance they receive and experiences they have come from the media, pop culture, or peers who are as neglected, immature, and poorly guided as they are.(13)
See how vitally important it is for you to not be a wimpy parent?
I hope that many things you have already learned in this book came into your mind when you read the above paragraph. I hope you can look at many of the items listed and already know what to do to help your children.
I promise you that your children want to have a close and loving relationship with you! More than anything, they want to feel bonded with you, their parents. Let that be a lot of the positive molding experience in their brains!
NOTE: One of the scariest consequences for a generation of youth who are "hooking up" with no attachment is that the more sexual partners a person has, the more problems they can have "attaching" to a permanent partner. We know that is important in having a committed relationship which provides the healthiest environment for a family.
1. McIlhaney, J.S. & Bush, F.M., (2008). Hooked: New Science On How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children. Chicago: Northfield Publishing.
2. Ibid. pp. 82-83
3. Ibid. pp. 19
4. Ibid.
5. Ibid. front flap
6. Ibid.
7. Ibid.
8. Ibid. pp. 29
9. Ibid. pp. 11
10. Ibid. pp. 62
11.Ibid. pp. 59
12. Ibid. pp. 54
13. Ibid.
Operation Underground Railroad
Operation Underground Railroad is a nonprofit United States-based anti-sex trafficking organization. It has conducted multiple sting operations, some outside the United States, and donated technologic…
ourrescue.org
Founded October 2013
Founder - Tim Ballard
Headquarters, Anaheim, California
Key people Tim Ballard (ex-CEO) · Matt Osborne (President and COO)
Named after Underground Railroad
Founded at Salt Lake City, Utah
Tax ID no.46-3614979
FocusHumanitarian
The addictions of alcohol, illicit drugs, tobacco and gambling are serious enough on their own; however, the one that does not get enough attention and is possibly the most misunderstood is the horrific addiction of pornography. It has never been innocent, however; comparing the 1960’s with today, it is off the chart terrifying.
I left this for last because it is a little more involved than what appears to be obvious to most people. It is extremely important for you to understand what is happening so you are able to educate your children on the risks involved with pornography and its addictive properties. It is especially vital for your children to understand the seriousness and dangerous nature of sexting, meaning texting sexual pictures.
I knew how important it was for me to address this, however, I was unsure how to go about it and one reason is that I was afraid to Google pornography because of what I knew would pop up. I didn’t want any images in my mind and I also did not want to have that search on my computer.
One day while I was writing this book, an interview by Glenn Beck caught my attention. I had previously seen an interview Glenn did with Tim Ballard concerning the child trafficking problem. I cried throughout the whole program and knew I wanted to donate to “Operation Underground Railroad”. Glenn has begun to help Tim and his fellow workers have the funds to rescue children from sex trafficking.
Glenn interviewed Tim concerning the experiences he and his team had while rescuing children in South America from sex trafficking. It was a heartbreaking show to listen to because of the kind of treatment these poor children endured and yet I was so thrilled that someone was aggressively tackling the problem. I was so moved by Tim’s emotion and passion to help rescue these poor, abused children.
Tim Ballard talked mostly about rescuing the children and then Glenn asked him what happens to men that they could possibly use, abuse and molest children. Tim hesitated and then said, “You won’t want to hear this.” Right then, I said out loud, “Pornography” and yes, the answer was pornography.
Tim is right. People do not want to believe that pornography is harmful.
I saw a shocking statistic during my research concerning how many people in America did not believe there was any problem viewing pornography. It was around 75% and the number was nearly as high for women as it was for men.
It has only been a few years since I knew there were programs like AA to help people with pornography addictions. At the time I really did not understand how that could become an addiction.
Tim went on to say that pornography is like a drug and the more a person consumes, the more they want and need to satisfy that addiction. Like alcoholics and drug addicts need more and more of the substance to fulfill that addiction, so it is with pornography. From what Mr. Ballard said, apparently what shocked and thrilled in the beginning, won’t shock and thrill later. It just continues to escalate!
At first it might be pornography of women since that is the most common, then it would be men, teens and eventually children and that is how men and women get in the business of child sex trafficking.
In the case of pornography Tim Ballard explained that just like needing a drug, addicts need more and more perverse behavior and experiences to satisfy. I hope you will see the huge problem pornography can become and take steps to help your family avoid it like the plague that it is. This is really, really important for you to understand.
In 2003, Bureau of Justice Statistics surveys have shown that 70 percent of all men in prison for a sex crime were men whose victim was a child. In almost half of the child-victim cases, the child was the prisoner's own son or daughter or other relative. (1)
Since 35% of the men were fathers, doesn’t it make sense that they are likely viewing pornography in the home and I would say the chances are good the pornography being viewed would be child porn. That is such an incredibly sad and horrific statistic. Taken from pages 155- 157 in Rebuilding After the Explosions: Helping Parents Put the Pieces Back Together, written by Jane E. Jenkins.
As if child sex trafficking isn’t horrific enough, let me share with you the information I found in the book Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children written by McIlhaney, J.S. & Bush, F.M.(2) By the way, the new term “hooking up” means that people have sex with no expectation of any permanent relationship.
“Hooking up” is also known as FWB (short for “Friends With Benefits”). These are friendships (and often complete strangers) with non-committed sexual activity with many different partners.
Popular culture would have us believe that young people should become involved in sex when they feel ready, and that with proper precautions, everything will be fine. But the facts tell a very different story.
Let’s look at a few sad statistics:
- 80% of all unwed fathers don’t marry the teen mother of their baby
- 80% of unwed teen mothers eventually receive welfare
- 70% of unwed mothers receive no financial support from the fathers of their children
- Nearly one half of all teen pregnancies under the age of 19 occur in relationships with males more than three years older
- Twenty percent of those aged 12-18 using the birth control pill get pregnant within six months(3)
With these statistics, is it any wonder these girls are out looking for love as they “hook up” and then likely end up being even more depressed and suicidal?
My heartfelt thanks go out to the men who are taking care of their families.
Parents, don’t think for a second that you are not having an effect on your children. A strong, healthy relationship does matter for them. Look at these statistics.
Concerning teenage boys:
Going back to the time of sexual awakening, important research into the phenomenon of puberty has yielded some important discoveries. It has been found that in situations with poor or unhealthy parent-teenager relations, teenage boys with high testosterone levels were more likely to engage in risky behavior of all kinds, including sex.(4)
Concerning teenage girls:
Teenage girls with poor parental relationships were more likely to engage in similar risky behavior. Yet in each case, research has found that home environment had greater influence on behavior than hormone levels and if parent-child relations were good, hormone levels do not seem to matter at all regarding risky sexual behavior.(5)
Michael D. Resnick, Ph.D., and his coauthors showed that adolescents who were strong enough to avoid sexual involvement had three primary things in common:
- High levels of parent-family connectedness,
- Parental disapproval of the adolescent becoming sexually active,
- Parental disapproval of the adolescent using contraception
There are many divorced men and women out there who are staying connected with their children. A father’s love and attention can help your children stay away from “hooking up”.
Although the book Hooked was written in 2008, I still consider this research to be fairly new. Let‘s look at some fascinating research about the brain.
Today, thanks to breakthroughs in neuroscience research techniques, scientists have been able to literally view the activity of the brain as it functions. With state-of-the-art mapping and imaging tools, researchers have unlocked a new world of data on what happens between your ears each day.(6)
Chemicals once again come into play, “…new methods of tracking brain chemicals have allowed scientists to understand when and how much of these chemicals are released and how they influence behavior.”(7)
The authors continue, “What we now know from science is what some have been saying for years – that the largest and most important sex organ is the brain. In fact, the brain itself is being molded by sexual behavior.”(8)
Doctors McIlhaney and Bush describe how “The brain is moldable and adaptable from before birth until death. It is not a rigid, immutable structure, but an organ that can grow and flex.”(9)
“…new research indicates, our interest in sex is built into our brains.” The authors go on to say that it must be in order to be able to overcome the “natural hesitation to become very personal with someone else.”(10)
It is so important to understand that:
…if we try to eliminate this connectedness from sex, we remove the uniquely human aspect of it, and the sexual act becomes nothing more than raw animal behavior. However, when this connectedness is allowed to mature in the context of a lifelong committed relationship, sex is a wonderful, sustaining expression of love.(11)
The human brain is formed so that at birth it demands “connecting” to other human beings. Here is how Allan Schore of the UCLA School of Medicine says it: “We are born to form attachments…our brains are basically wired to develop in tandem with another’s, through emotional communication, beginning before words are spoken.”(12)
I want to address the adolescent brain again for a moment.
Adolescent brains can also be negatively molded by unstructured experiences or bad input such as neglect, poor guidance, poor structure, or lack of discipline. For these unfortunate youth, this means that the guidance they receive and experiences they have come from the media, pop culture, or peers who are as neglected, immature, and poorly guided as they are.(13)
See how vitally important it is for you to not be a wimpy parent?
I hope that many things you have already learned in this book came into your mind when you read the above paragraph. I hope you can look at many of the items listed and already know what to do to help your children.
I promise you that your children want to have a close and loving relationship with you! More than anything, they want to feel bonded with you, their parents. Let that be a lot of the positive molding experience in their brains!
NOTE: One of the scariest consequences for a generation of youth who are "hooking up" with no attachment is that the more sexual partners a person has, the more problems they can have "attaching" to a permanent partner. We know that is important in having a committed relationship which provides the healthiest environment for a family.
1. McIlhaney, J.S. & Bush, F.M., (2008). Hooked: New Science On How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children. Chicago: Northfield Publishing.
2. Ibid. pp. 82-83
3. Ibid. pp. 19
4. Ibid.
5. Ibid. front flap
6. Ibid.
7. Ibid.
8. Ibid. pp. 29
9. Ibid. pp. 11
10. Ibid. pp. 62
11.Ibid. pp. 59
12. Ibid. pp. 54
13. Ibid.
Operation Underground Railroad
Operation Underground Railroad is a nonprofit United States-based anti-sex trafficking organization. It has conducted multiple sting operations, some outside the United States, and donated technologic…
ourrescue.org
Founded October 2013
Founder - Tim Ballard
Headquarters, Anaheim, California
Key people Tim Ballard (ex-CEO) · Matt Osborne (President and COO)
Named after Underground Railroad
Founded at Salt Lake City, Utah
Tax ID no.46-3614979
FocusHumanitarian