Do you remember what a stubborn two-year-old acts like? Don’t we all feel like this child with an “Oh yeah? Make me!” attitude when we are told what to do?
Chances are we all feel this way inside, right? We quickly learn the social skill of hiding our true feelings of annoyance when we are told what to do. Yeah, no one likes it! We are taught we need to be polite so we lose the tendency to stand up for ourselves or just give in. We all have our “free agency” to make choices; however, often we receive consequences we might not choose for ourselves because that is life. So are your children prepared to leave home and make good choices? Do they know how to weigh out the consequences, bad and good? Do they know that most of the time, when they are thoughtful and careful, they can make good choices? |
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I learned this lesson a long time ago and it has always been beneficial to me so I want to share it with you.
This was one of my favorite lessons from the New Testament when I taught the youth. On the left is a handout I used to illustrate the concept of not judging others. This is a great activity to do with your family. Every student got a copy of this drawing and was asked to write his or her own positive and negative character traits on the appropriate side. I asked them to fold it in half on the dotted line. Next, I asked them which side they would prefer to show others. The point is that every person on earth has faults. Just as we don’t want others to focus only on our negative traits or behaviors, it is not good for us to focus on or judge others for their negative traits or behaviors. I might add and to ignore the positive traits. This is a great way to teach our family about how it is not good for us to judge others or to focus on the negative traits of ourselves or others!! |
This conversation is a great one to have with our families because we do have to make choices on a daily bases. So, how do we make choices without placing judgment on others? It is really quite simple. We accept that we all make different choices based on own experiences, viewpoints and how we have each been taught. We all have so many different perspectives in our lives because we are individuals and therefore, we can never say that we understand what someone is going through because of all of those unique situations. It is impossible to know what another person is going through because of where they have come from and what they have experienced.
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Remember the pouting child picture above? We don’t like to be told what to do and neither do our children. We all want autonomy. When they are young it is good for them to feel the natural consequences of their actions (obviously, if it is not life threatening) especially if you have warned them over and over not to do something. The stronger you are concerning allowing them to experience the consequences of their own poor choices, the more quickly they will learn! If they get angry, you may have to remind them that they made that poor choice not you!
The earlier they learn that you just might know what you are talking about, the better it is for them, especially when they are making choices that will not likely alter their lives. They need your guidance, while they are still in your home. Because they trust you to be a strong parent, you will have a much better chance of teaching them about the negative consequences of behaviors that can damage them as well as alter the direction of their future.
The earlier they learn that you just might know what you are talking about, the better it is for them, especially when they are making choices that will not likely alter their lives. They need your guidance, while they are still in your home. Because they trust you to be a strong parent, you will have a much better chance of teaching them about the negative consequences of behaviors that can damage them as well as alter the direction of their future.
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