SHAPING THE CHILD PARENTING... BECAUSE PARENTING IS NOT FOR WIMPS!
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Do you remember what a stubborn two-year-old acts like? Don’t we all feel like this child with an “Oh yeah? Make me!” attitude when we are told what to do?

                                               Chances are we all feel this way inside, right?


We quickly learn the social skill of hiding our true feelings of annoyance when we are told what to do.  Yeah, no one likes it! We are taught we need to be polite so we lose the tendency to stand up for ourselves or just give in.
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We all have our “free agency” to make choices; however, often we receive consequences we might not choose for ourselves because that is life. So are your children prepared to leave home and make good choices? Do they know how to weigh out the consequences, bad and good? Do they know that most of the time, when they are thoughtful and careful, they can make good choices?
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I learned this lesson a long time ago and it has always been beneficial to me so I want to share it with you.
This was one of my favorite lessons from the New Testament when I taught the youth. On the left is a handout I used to illustrate the concept of not judging others. This is a great activity to do with your family.

Every student got a copy of this drawing and was asked to write his or her own positive and negative character traits on the appropriate side. I asked them to fold it in half on the dotted line. Next, I asked them which side they would prefer to show others. 

The point is that every person on earth has faults. Just as we don’t want others to focus only on our negative traits or behaviors, it is not good for us to focus on or judge others for their negative traits or behaviors. I might add and to ignore the positive traits. This is a great way to teach our family about how it is not good for us to judge others or to focus on the negative traits of ourselves or others!! 

​This conversation is a great one to have with our families because we do have to make choices on a daily bases. So, how do we make choices without placing judgment on others? It is really quite simple. We accept that we all make different choices based on own experiences, viewpoints and how we have each been taught. We all have so many different perspectives in our lives because we are individuals and therefore, we can never say that we understand what someone is going through because of all of those unique situations. It is impossible to know what another person is going through because of where they have come from and what they have experienced. 

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Remember the pouting child picture above? We don’t like to be told what to do and neither do our children. We all want autonomy. When they are young it is good for them to feel the natural consequences of their actions (obviously, if it is not life threatening) especially if you have warned them over and over not to do something.  The stronger you are concerning allowing them to experience the consequences of their own poor choices, the more quickly they will learn! If they get angry, you may have to remind them that they made that poor choice not you!

The earlier they learn that you just might know what you are talking about, the better it is for them, especially when they are making choices that will not likely alter their lives. They need your guidance, while they are still in your home.  Because they trust you to be a strong parent, you will have a much better chance of teaching them about the negative consequences of behaviors that can damage them as well as alter the direction of their future.      
                                                              
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​As they grow older, there are so many harmful behaviors that can completely change the direction of their lives. We live in a very dangerous time with scary consequences.


(Remember, they have adolescent brains that do not make the best choices, even into their early twenties!)

These days’ children are allowed to grow up very fast. Our children need our guidance, however, they will accept our direction better when they have been taught the consequences and then they can see the wisdom in making good choices. 

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Shaping the Child Parenting
©2015-2016
The purpose of this website is to make changes that give your family an opportunity to be secure and well adjusted, capable and confident, positive, happy and fun, thus improving the chances of raising emotionally healthy children for generations to come.
  • Welcome Home
  • Character Corner
    • Skool yard
    • Optimism >
      • Have a laugh...
    • Protect and repair your brain
  • Brain Health
    • How to have a great brain!
    • GOOD CHOICES >
      • Good and Bad Choices for Your Brain
    • Eight Simple Steps to Remembering Better
    • ADOLESCENT BRAIN >
      • Adolescent Brain - Ages 10-14
      • Adolescent Brain - 15-18
      • Adolescent Brain - Age 19-24
    • BABY BOOMERS AGING BRAIN >
      • What's goin' on? >
        • Healthy Brain Foods
        • Ten Healthy Brain Aging Tips
    • Coming Soon - Exercise Your Brain...to keep and help your memory!
  • BLOGS
    • ADDICTIONS - EFFECTS ON THE BRAIN
    • CONTROVERSIAL ARTICLES >
      • Social Media - the Good - the Bad - the Ugly?
      • Volatile Political Discourse
      • I think it's great-grandmas fault
    • WHAT IS CONCRETE THINKING >
      • Our three day old baby girl...
    • MISCELLANEOUS ARTICLES >
      • #1 Best Result for a Stable Family
      • The power of play!
  • PARENTING ARTICLES
    • Monthly Articles >
      • 2016 articles >
        • December 2016 Newsletter - The Trilogy
    • Strong Parents Needed >
      • Ten Commitments of Marriage
  • Six Critical Parenting Articles
    • Six Critical Parenting Article Links
  • Newsletters
  • Videos - a must see!
    • DO YOU KNOW?
  • POLLS/MEDIA
    • POLL - What do you think about Social Media?
    • Radio interviews
  • Play
    • Insightful Videos
    • Funny Videos
    • Funny Stories
    • Games and Activities >
      • Outdoor Games
      • Crafts
      • Group Games
    • Awesome pictures >
      • Family Pictures >
        • Winter Family Fun
      • Animals Pictures
      • Funny Pictures
      • Nature pictures
      • CONTESTS >
        • Winners of the photo contest
        • Question?
      • And more...just cool pictures!
  • Parent Coaching
    • Parent Coaching Intro
  • Store
    • Store - Book and workbook >
      • Workbook - NEW
      • About the book... >
        • Preface
      • About the Workbook
      • About the author ...
  • CONTACT JANE E.