Fake news?

                                        Heck, what about Fake Life

                                                                                     and Fake Love? 

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This first example is my idea of when fake life may have begun... 
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I really believe that we have been living in a false reality for some time now. 

Example 1 - I immediately think of participation trophies. I don’t really care if everyone gets a participation trophy as long as those who won first, second and third places get rewarded for their dedication, hard work and discipline. Competition breeds excellence.                                                                                                                             I am guessing there are many children who have their participation trophies sitting on their shelves. When they graduate from high school and clean out their rooms,  do you think they would grab those precious trophies and pack them up with pride? 

How about a well-deserved first place trophy? Can you picture the owner of that​ trophy and how they might feel differently? Would they carefully pack it up and maybe even take it with them?

There is no doubt in my mind that many, if not all, children have trashed their participation trophies as they scoffed! They knew they got the trophy because they just “showed up”!
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​(Note: if you are a parent who pushes your children to participate in something your child is not really interested in, because it is your dream for them, please reconsider. Now, if they really, really tried hard and enjoyed every minute of playing no matter how well they did then they may carefully wrap those trophies, take them with them wherever they go and that is just great!) 

​I think it is a good idea to reflect on where we are on the spectrum of social media. Are we real in our need for help?    Are we real in our desire to help? If not, you may want to ask yourself some questions!

 We are all familiar with what FAKE NEWS is. What about FAKE LIFE and FAKE LOVE?  Below are a couple more examples of when fake life may have begun?

Example 2 - Another example along the same line.  It is basically being told we are something that we are not.

This may seem like a weird example but I think it fits, no pun intended.  I have been blessed with my dad’s thin body type and I wore a size 10 in my youth. I got up to a size 12 in my high school years and was considered thin. I have fluctuated throughout the years and am again size 10 (I actually don’t know the actual size because I have heard that what used to be size 12 for forever is now a size 10 – (the reason was to help American women feel better about themselves.  Point proven? So, I guess I could add, Fake Ego to the list of Fakes. I only bring this up because I recently went into my favorite clothing store and was thoroughly disgusted when I fit into a size 3!

What? So, I might have been a size 3 in second grade! Do these people really believe that I am going to think I have magically transformed into a size 3 just because I walked through their doors? Or do they think I am going to walk around telling everyone I am a size 3 and then try to prove it as I show my size 3 tag? It is quite obvious I am not a size 3! Give me a break. It’s time to get real!
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I am not walking around boasting about my size 3 pants! I know it’s a joke! Do you believe our society has benefited from these falsehoods?   I don’t! That’s just plain ridiculous and actually, quite needy! 

​Example 3 - Some social media does not even require real names and if that is the case, too often due to fake names, accountability doesn’t seem to matter and the “anything goes” mentality can occur.

Even with real names, the fact that we are not face to face with someone may cause us to feel a little bolder and say something that we would not likely say in person or at least, would be more tactful. Looking into the eyes of a real, live person can bring accountability to our conversations.

Sometimes while reading Facebook comments, I want to gag, other times I want to cry and many times I just get mad!    
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I feel like gagging when I see apparent needy people playing their mini violins to get attention from supposed “friends” throwing out the appropriate emoticons etc. I really can’t stand those, “If you like me…” Blah, blah, blah! That’s when I want to puke! I never respond!
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I want to cry when I see others who truly are reaching out; hoping to get help and they want to feel like someone cares. I wonder how many people actually take the time to truly reach out and contact them, offering real help rather than just a thumb up, or a smiley face.        So would you call this FAKE communication?   

That might be a good time to send a personal message, one that is out of public view and offer “real” help…not just the appearance of help for the world to see! 

Lastly, what makes me so angry is to see something get posted that is cruel to people or animals just to get x amount of views. If that isn't sick, I don't know what is -  all due to social media! I refuse to pass that sick stuff on because it just encourages those cruel people to post more of the same. It is extremely sad to me. I want to do my part by not passing it on!     Let me know what you think at shapingthechild.com

         Do you have any other examples of FAKE LIFE?

Looking ahead around Valentine’s Day:
 
Let’s talk about Real Love vs. Fake Love.  You won’t want to miss reading the second February article and learn what wonderful events happen naturally to create that amazing bonding between parents and children.  
                     
Now that’s Real Love!

The following information is taken from my book, “Rebuilding After the Explosions: Helping Parents Put the Pieces Back Together” on page 230.
 
The human brain is formed so that at birth it demands “connecting” to other human beings. Here is how Allan Schore of the UCLA School of Medicine says it: “We are born to form attachments…our brains are basically wired to develop in tandem with another’s, through emotional communication, beginning before words are spoken.”   
 
I want to address the adolescent brain again for a moment.
 

"Adolescent brains can also be negatively molded by unstructured experiences or bad input such as neglect, poor guidance, poor structure, or lack of discipline. For these unfortunate youth, this means that the guidance they receive and experiences they have come from the media, pop culture, or peers who are as neglected, immature, and poorly guided as they are."

See how vitally important it is for you to not be a wimpy parent?
 
I hope that many things you have already learned in this book came into your mind when you read the above paragraph. I hope you can look at many of the items listed and already know what to do to help your children.

   I promise you that your children want to have a close and loving relationship with you! More than anything, they want to feel             bonded with you, their parents. Let that be a lot of the positive molding experience in their brains!  Around Valentines Day,                                      learn about Fake Love...you won't want to miss it! It is fascinating and actually very scary information!                                 A must read for loving parents trying to raise a family in a difficult world!