JULY NEWSLETTER 2017...
                                     

You might ask how opposites can make a whole!               This is how…
* The left triangle – represents the man with broad shoulders - strength to protect his family

* The right triangle - represents the woman with strength in the hips to carry and bear children           (I know some of you ladies may gasp at the “hip” comment, but we all know it’s true and makes sense to carry and give birth to babies!)

*When joined together, the two united triangles create a rhombus shape with a sound, strong foundation… and again…that is a great thing!

TWO OPPOSITES MAKE A WHOLE...                                                                          AND THAT IS GREAT!

There are many reasons; however, just to stay with the theme of what each sex brings to the family, there are several things I will mention.  The most obvious reason is girls and boys will be able to learn how to deal with the opposite sex. This is an major benefit as they learn how to get along with members of the opposite sex within the family and that will benefit them outside of the home as well.  Continued…

First, both of you name five things you love about your husband/wife. Are they the same today as they were before you got married? If they have changed, do you know why and how they changed? This can be a great discussion to have with your spouse as well as a perfect place to begin renewing or strengthening your love for one another.  p.108

​Remember, the parents are the basic foundation of the family. I believe that parents will be able to utilize all the strengths of each family member, thus enabling the whole family to rebuild and have a life that is safe, secure and happy. p. 109

​Note: I only saw 9 rules, so #10 is mine.  I have looked and looked to locate Melissa Diaz to get permission to reprint this information; however, I have been unsuccessful in locating her.   Her original article was posted at Yahoo Contributor Network which no longer exists. To read the full article just cut and paste on the link at the end of this article.                           

The above tips are the very best for a couple’s first marriage and especially with children. If you are struggling in your marriage and considering divorce, please do some research.  Every statistic shows that families do the best with the original parents for them and their children. Of course, if there are serious abuse problems, that changes the situation.

I can’t tell you how many divorced couples I have talked to who regret that they didn’t just stick it out with their first spouse, the parent of their children. The likelihood of divorce increases with each additional marriage.  I truly believe the above meme is very true and if taught to our families, with examples being set by the parents, the whole family will be stronger and better prepared for future relationships.

However, life happens! There are as many different situations as there are people. If you are already feeling the consequences of ex-spouses, step-children/step-parents, you can still have great results, it will just take more work, perseverance and possibly more heartache.

And all of that glorious love comes from those amazing attachment hormones which occur when couples have babies. The baby also has those attaching hormones and continues to receive them while nursing as well as cuddle time from all family members. God has it perfectly orchestrated! Do you think He may have known what He was doing? 

The August special weekly articles will help to have the best results for your family.       They are as follows:
 
 1. Don’t date young or have serious relationships during teen years or even early 20’s
 2. Don’t have sex before marriage
 3. Marry rather than live together
 4. Marry the opposite sex
 5. Marry and stay faithful to each other
 6. Attend church with the family on a weekly basis
​

Many will say these expectations are not realistic; however, they are very realistic especially if your children understand the detrimental consequences of each. I will make the case and you will be a believer when I am done. This requires strong NOT wimpy parenting. It will not be easy; however, I know you love your children enough to teach them the wonderful consequences that will come when making these great choices. 

I know this is long, but don’t go yet…
A game and treat are next…

You can get more information concerning marriage from my book, Rebuilding After the Explosions: Helping Parents Put the Pieces Back Together - Chapter 9 - How Strong is Your Foundation.  I discuss Dr. Harley’s book, His Needs Her Needs in that Chapter.  Dr. Harley has a great web site you can spend hours reading.  It is Marriagebuilders.com by Dr. Harley. 
​           
NOTES:
1. Parental involvement, family structure, and adolescent decision-making. Sociological Perspectives.49 (1), 67-90.
2. U.S. Bureau of the Census. (2006). Statistical abstract of the United States (122nd ed).  Washington, DC: U.S. Government Printing Office.
3. Carlson, M. J. (2006).  Family structure, father involvement and adolescent behavioral outcomes.  Journal of Marriage and the Family, 68 (1), 137-154. 
4.  Colman, R. A., & Widon, C. S. (2004).  Childhood abuse and adult intimate relationships:  A prospective study.  Child Abuse and Neglect, 28 (11), 1133-1151. 
5. (2014, June 20). Retrieved from: http://divorce.usu.edu/files/uploads/Lesson3.pdf.
 
                     Thanks for reading and as always, Happy Parenting Because Parenting is NOT for Wimps!                          Jane E. Jenkins  shapingthechild.com
 
 
Go to full article – click here   http://www.shapingthechild.com/ten-commitments-of-marriage.html