Political correctness is constantly discussed and unfortunately applied these days. It has run amuck in our country and we are seeing its dangerous and often horrific consequences. The PC police have been alive and well for too many years. In my opinion, it has seriously damaged our communication, at the least!
So, what has happened to free speech in America today? How has it affected us on a personal level? What ever happened to the idea of “agreeing to disagree” or having a good debate with the idea of respectfully listening to other’s different opinions?
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What about listening carefully from a different perspective with the idea of expanding our own thought process. Remember the saying, "United we stand, divided we fall"? That belief is good to remember, for our family as well as our country.
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Below I will give you my take on this subject from my book, Rebuilding After the Explosions: Helping Parents Put the Pieces Back Together (pages 73 and 74).
This is going to seem like I am really off track here, but hear me out for a minute, ok? I think one of the biggest ways to shut down communication is “political correctness”. I believe it has gotten so bad in this country that we are close to losing our First Amendment right, freedom of speech. It is presented to be a concern for “groups” of people in the name of love. However, I believe it is really out of control and it is administered through anger and intolerance.
This is going to seem like I am really off track here, but hear me out for a minute, ok? I think one of the biggest ways to shut down communication is “political correctness”. I believe it has gotten so bad in this country that we are close to losing our First Amendment right, freedom of speech. It is presented to be a concern for “groups” of people in the name of love. However, I believe it is really out of control and it is administered through anger and intolerance.
We have a right to speak as we choose. We can choose to be hateful, mean and critical. If we talk that way we will likely receive the natural consequence of other people not wanting to be around us. If we choose to be thoughtful, considerate and kind, the natural consequence will be that we will have many friends and people who will want to spend time with us.
So, you may not like or agree with what other people have to say and, in that case, you simply listen and let them know that you hear and understand their viewpoint. That does not mean you have to agree with it and if you don’t, you can just politely agree to disagree.
This is called tolerance for others opinions. If they are rude and hateful, just turn, say something like, “I value your opinion. I just disagree. Sorry you are angry about my opinion. See you later.” And calmly walk away. That is your right too! The freedom to walk away!
When we truly love our fellow man (yes, PC police, this includes women, transgendered or even gender confused) that is a term for all humans! We can be kind, loving and respectful to all people and they will enjoy being around us because we are kind, loving, etc. You got it!
So, you may not like or agree with what other people have to say and, in that case, you simply listen and let them know that you hear and understand their viewpoint. That does not mean you have to agree with it and if you don’t, you can just politely agree to disagree.
This is called tolerance for others opinions. If they are rude and hateful, just turn, say something like, “I value your opinion. I just disagree. Sorry you are angry about my opinion. See you later.” And calmly walk away. That is your right too! The freedom to walk away!
When we truly love our fellow man (yes, PC police, this includes women, transgendered or even gender confused) that is a term for all humans! We can be kind, loving and respectful to all people and they will enjoy being around us because we are kind, loving, etc. You got it!
A NOTE TO THE NOTE...
When I wrote the sentence about the bear, I actually noted the color “black” and I went back and changed it to “brown” and then I thought, “Well, that doesn’t work either!” Then I screamed out loud, “Janie, you are doing it! You are worrying about being politically correct while arguing about political correctness!!!” Ahhhh, do you see how political correctness is ingrained in us now? Folks, it is a color! Black, brown, red, yellow AND white! Yes, skin is different colors! They are all descriptive colors. That is life and that’s okay!!
When we truly love our fellow man (yes, PC police, this includes women, transgendered or even gender confused) that is a term for all humans! We can be kind, loving and respectful to all people and they will enjoy being around us because we are kind, loving and respectful, etc. You got it!
When we truly love our fellow man (yes, PC police, this includes women, transgendered or even gender confused) that is a term for all humans! We can be kind, loving and respectful to all people and they will enjoy being around us because we are kind, loving and respectful, etc. You got it!
DOES SOCIAL MEDIA CREATE GENUINE BONDING?
We are human beings and we have the “need” to have human experiences. As previously mentioned in the May Newsletter about bonding, we are innately meant to bond with other human beings. My concern is that many people in life do not have healthy, secure relationships with loved ones and instead, look for that kind of relationship on their computer.
Back in the summer of 2014, Simon Sinek, author of Start With Why and Leaders Eat Last, discussed on the Glenn Beck show, how “ (Smart phones) have addictive qualities and so the concern is that, as teenagers, as they go through adolescence, like alcohol, they have social media and they have their phones and they accidentally are forming neural connections, where when they’re going through times of stress and they should be relying on each other, they are turning to machines,” Simon said."
That was four years ago. Is it worse today? Do you think it is better now?
Simon went on to discuss those feel good hormones I have written about so many times. You know what a powerful chemical Dopamine is in our brain, making us feel good in short bursts. We need more and more “hits” of Dopamine to keep us feeling good. Like all addictions, too much of so many things begin to be problematic. So it is with phones, computers and other electronics.
Back in the summer of 2014, Simon Sinek, author of Start With Why and Leaders Eat Last, discussed on the Glenn Beck show, how “ (Smart phones) have addictive qualities and so the concern is that, as teenagers, as they go through adolescence, like alcohol, they have social media and they have their phones and they accidentally are forming neural connections, where when they’re going through times of stress and they should be relying on each other, they are turning to machines,” Simon said."
That was four years ago. Is it worse today? Do you think it is better now?
Simon went on to discuss those feel good hormones I have written about so many times. You know what a powerful chemical Dopamine is in our brain, making us feel good in short bursts. We need more and more “hits” of Dopamine to keep us feeling good. Like all addictions, too much of so many things begin to be problematic. So it is with phones, computers and other electronics.
I know that it takes 90 days of doing something to create a habit! When we think about how many hours we or our children are on social media or playing video games, we all know that creates habits and yes, if it goes on long enough, addictions can be being created!
When the lack of human relationships continues then people often look for that connection on social media. Truthfully there is little genuine bonding that occurs. Connections may be made through social media; however, using social media alone is likely very shallow. There will always need to be genuine human connection for the real attachment to form.
Human beings crave that bonding from birth for human connections. Shallow relationships can create loneliness and heartache for that genuine attachment. Loneliness is becoming a problem for people. Isolation and loneliness are a common denominator for suicide, which is becoming a problem in many countries. I will discuss this problem more in another article.
Same picture – different thought - How often do you feel this way? Wondering if someone is upset because you aren’t able to hear the intonation in their voice? Have you ever worried yourself sick about a comment and then later learned after talking face to face that it was not what you thought? There is huge value to face to face conversation. That human connection is very valuable and I'm concerned we are losing it! We just need to connect again! |
My concern is for all human beings; however, I am especially concerned about our children because their brains are still forming. I have paraphrased the article “Social Media ‘Likes’ Impact Teens’ Brains and Behavior” and I hope you will take the time to read it. The complete link is at the bottom. I believe all of the articles associated with it are very good.
“Social Media ‘Likes’ Impact Teens’ Brains and Behavior”
The same brain circuits that are activated by eating chocolate and winning money are activated when teenagers see large numbers of “likes” on their own photos or the photos of peers in a social network, according to findings from a new study in which researchers scanned teens’ brains while they used social media.
The study is published in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science. Links to this article are below.
The 32 teenagers, ages 13-18, were told they were participating in a small social network similar to the popular photo-sharing app, Instagram. In an experiment at UCLA’s Ahmanson–Lovelace Brain Mapping Center, the researchers showed them 148 photographs on a computer screen for 12 minutes, including 40 photos that each teenager submitted, and analyzed their brain activity using functional magnetic resonance imaging, or fMRI.
Each photo also displayed the number of likes it had supposedly received from other teenage participants — in reality, the number of likes was assigned by the researchers. (At the end of the procedure, the participants were told that the researchers decided on the number of likes a photo received.)
* “When the teens saw their own photos with a large number of likes, we saw activity across a wide variety of regions in the brain,”
* A region that was especially active is a part of the striatum called the nucleus accumbens, which is part of the brain’s reward circuitry…
* This reward circuitry is thought to be particularly sensitive during adolescence. In deciding whether to click that they liked a photo, the teenagers were highly influenced by the number of likes the photo had.
* Teens react differently to information when they believe it has been endorsed by many or few of their peers, even if these peers are strangers.”
* “We should expect the effect would be magnified in real life, when teens are looking at likes by people who are important to them.”
* The teenagers in the study viewed “neutral” photos — which included pictures of food and of friends — and “risky” photos — including cigarettes, alcohol and teenagers wearing provocative clothing.
* “For all three types of photographs — neutral, risky and even their own — the teens were more likely to click like if more people had liked them than if fewer people liked them…”
* “The conformity effect, which was particularly large for their own pictures, shows the importance of peer-approval.”
* When teenagers looked at risky photos compared with neutral photos, they had less activation in areas associated with cognitive control and response inhibition…
* These brain regions are involved in decision-making and can inhibit us from engaging in certain activities, or give us the green light to go ahead…
* Seeing photos that depict risky behavior seems to decrease activity in the regions that put the brakes on, perhaps weakening teens’ “be careful” filter…
These are such perilous times and if we don't parent our children, someone else will. The problem with that is that they do not love them as much as we do! That bonding that occurs at birth is there for a reason and it is very beneficial. With that said, for those of you who have adopted, or are raising children you may not have had that opportunity at birth to bond, there are many, many other ways to bond with people. Just look up "feel good hormones" and you will see so many other ways to bond with those you love.
Adolescent's brain are highly influenced by their peers and that is exactly why it is so important to be a Strong NOT a Wimpy Parent!
Here is the link to the above information. It is well worth the read! https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/social-media-likes-impact-teens-brains-and-behavior.html#.WTmWUGjys2w
More about social media – May parenting article – If you missed it, just click below on the link
http://www.shapingthechild.com/social-media---the-good---the-bad---the-ugly
As always, please refer friends and be sure to check for updates and any new information on shapingthechild.com
Thanks for reading!
Jane E.
More about social media – May parenting article – If you missed it, just click below on the link
http://www.shapingthechild.com/social-media---the-good---the-bad---the-ugly
As always, please refer friends and be sure to check for updates and any new information on shapingthechild.com
Thanks for reading!
Jane E.