I have figured out that if people will learn and understand the consequences of certain actions then it will be much easier for them to make better choices. Too often we feel the negative consequences of an action after the fact rather than learning about (and teaching our children) the consequence of a choice before.
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Parents can help by teaching children about the poor judgement often made because of their adolescent brain which is still under construction! And that can be the case from 10-28 years old! That is a long time to be so susceptible to poor choices!
Proactive parents will teach their children about the consequences of many behaviors long before they are in the middle of making choices. Proactive parents will also know who their children are with, what they are doing, where they will be, when they will be home, AND that their parents love them and that is why there are so many questions! Because of that, they will feel secure.
I encourage you to go to the Shaping the Child website take the test about addictions and see if you can match the choices (addictions) to the consequences. – Parenting Articles – January Articles
Proactive parents will teach their children about the consequences of many behaviors long before they are in the middle of making choices. Proactive parents will also know who their children are with, what they are doing, where they will be, when they will be home, AND that their parents love them and that is why there are so many questions! Because of that, they will feel secure.
I encourage you to go to the Shaping the Child website take the test about addictions and see if you can match the choices (addictions) to the consequences. – Parenting Articles – January Articles
For the Year 2017 and Beyond –
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The adolescent brain is something I believe is absolutely vital for parents to understand. The fact that I don’t believe many people understand is that the adolescent brain is in play between 10 – up to 28ish years old. Do you believe that it may take very strong, informed parents to help their children?
“Dopamine is a hormone that has a very powerful impact and is the most responsible for feelings of pleasure. At this vulnerable age, the prefrontal cortex ‘ have higher levels of dopamine circulating in the prefrontal cortex, however, the dopamine levels are actually decreasing in the reward center (nucleus accumbens) of the brain. The problem is that because of the lower levels, the adolescent needs ‘more excitement and stimulation to achieve the same level of pleasure as an adult.’” 1
“Dopamine is a hormone that has a very powerful impact and is the most responsible for feelings of pleasure. At this vulnerable age, the prefrontal cortex ‘ have higher levels of dopamine circulating in the prefrontal cortex, however, the dopamine levels are actually decreasing in the reward center (nucleus accumbens) of the brain. The problem is that because of the lower levels, the adolescent needs ‘more excitement and stimulation to achieve the same level of pleasure as an adult.’” 1
I am sure you are able to see that this information can create many problems for our children. I have decided to take information from my weekly January articles because it is about the adolescent brain. This is one of the most important pieces of information from my book that I want you to be aware of for the sake of your family. This is just a small part. I don’t know if any of you had a chance to see them on Facebook, however, I hope you will take the time to read the four full articles at shapingthechild.com – Parenting Info – January Articles.
CHOICES MATTER......in fact, they matter so much that it is vital to understand the consequences and then you can teach your children so they make good, informed decisions. The key, as a devoted loving parent, is to arm your children with everything they need to make, not just good, but great choices when you are not around. |
In the third article I listed great consequences to see if the reader could identify the choices. I want to do the same thing here only with less detail. I will give the five great consequences and see if you can guess the choice. Some may surprise you! These are just a few…shapingthechild.com has the full article.
1. Great health; reduction of anxiety and depression; better sleep; sense of safety and trust; increased optimism and confidence; feelings of selflessness; trust in friendships.
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2. Self-discipline; hard work; setting goals; perseverance; multi-tasking; sacrifice; budgeting money; improved self-esteem, just to name a few!
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3. Boosts our career; strengthens emotions and develops our personality; increases optimism; reduces materialism; increases self-esteem; improves sleep; again, just to name a few!
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4. Increase self-esteem; self-respect and respect for others; self-mastery; less chance of living in poverty; less chance of violence, abuse and rape; less suicidal ideation. There’s more!
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5. Higher levels of marital happiness and stability; stronger parent-child relationships; greater educational aspirations and attainment; especially among the poor; higher recovery rates from addictions to alcohol or drugs; lower divorce rates; lower cohabitation rates; lower rates of out-of-wedlock births; lover levels of teen sexual activity; lower levels of many infectious diseases, etc.
So, what can be done after the fact? |
YOU can make the difference in your family’s life because you do love them (like no one else) and I am confident that you love them enough to make those changes necessary to have wonderful consequences. I never said it would be easy…but I know it will be worth it to you and your family.
You are the best one to lead them down the right path of good choices? You have lived life long enough to know how much more they will enjoy life, when they experience the good consequences that naturally follow great choices. There is always time for self-reflection, good discussion and an agreement to just have a “Do Over”!
You are the best one to lead them down the right path of good choices? You have lived life long enough to know how much more they will enjoy life, when they experience the good consequences that naturally follow great choices. There is always time for self-reflection, good discussion and an agreement to just have a “Do Over”!
Are you ready for the answers? 1. Doing activities which help “feel good” hormones kick in 2. Go to college before you get married 3. Show gratitude 4. Sexual Abstinence 5. Weekly church attendance
Following are some ideas for a family discussion
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Encourage self-reflection by each family member.
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One of the negative consequences listed in the complete article is the intake of sugar. I am definitely feeling like a hypocrite since I am going to share with you a fun dessert. I will add that occasional sugar in moderation is best. (Okay, you know I am just trying to make myself feel better!)
Kool-Aid Pie
Ingredients: 1 package of any flavor Kool-Aid type drink mix (lemonade is my favorite – tastes similar to cheesecake) 1 cup sugar 1 can evaporated canned milk You will need a graham cracker crust. |
Directions: Open the canned milk and pour into a container in the freezer until it just begins to get icey. Then pour it into a large mixing bowl. Beat the milk with a mixer until it becomes very fluffy then gradually pour sugar around in milk while mixing. Make sure sugar is dissolved before slowly pouring a dry package of Kool-Aid powder. It becomes so soft and creamy! Put in crust and let sit in refrigerator a bit – Voila!
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I interrupt this newsletter for a commercial break...
Do you need some help with minor explosions?
- Learn how to connect with your family, uniquely and individually - help them feel love they need Pg. 23
- Learn how to help your family share the goal of staying on track by achieving family goals. Pg. 49
- Learn the benefit for the family to learn the advantage of “to be” vs “to do”. Pg. 52
- Learn how to teach your children not to make the same mistake twice. Pg. 61
- Learn how to identify the smoke before it becomes a raging fire by understanding emotions. Pg. 72
- Learn the best way to put a stop to begging, spoiled children by having a united front. Pg. 86
- Learn how 20 seconds a day can give you a huge boost in your marriage. Pg. 89
- Learn what behavior decreases three stress hormones. Pg. 91
- Learn what helps your children feel more secure in your home. Pg. 102
- Learn something that will help your children have success in many areas of their lives. Pg. 115
- Learn how to help your children through problems quickly and permanently. Pg. 144
- Learn about some very easy fixes! Pg. 181
- Learn some easy conflict resolution tips. Pg. 191
- Learn how failure is actually a very good thing for your children and it makes sense. Pg. 138
- Learn how to recognize a deep seeded problem within seconds. Pg. 140
- Learn how to help your children through problems quickly and permanently. Pg. 144
- Learn why it is so important to understand your children’s adolescent brain. Pg. 145
- Learn the very simple way to avoid alcohol and substance addictions. Pg. 150
- Learn how to “break down social barriers and induce feelings of optimism…” Pg. 152
- Learn what every parent needs to understand to help protect their children. Pg. 157
- Learn about addictions that can change the course of your child’s life. Pg. 161
- Learn about behaviors that can cause serious desensitization problems for families. Pg. 165
- Learn about social behaviors and how they can create many problems that may surprise you. Pg. 172
- Learn about every parent’s nightmare which requires a lot of love and a lot of strength. Pg. 207
- Learn what behavior can create bonding problems for life. Another need for strong parents! Pg. 232
Thanks for reading and Happy Parenting! What kind of information would you like to see in these newsletters? I would love to know… thanks for any and all input!
If you see value in these articles/newsletter, please share with your family and friends! I really appreciate the support. The views on the website are continuing to rise on a weekly basis. My main passion is to get this important information to parents. I am teaching as much as I can in my website, however, the real meat is in the book. There is so much vital information that every parent needs to be aware of that I just want to scream it from the rooftops, but instead I make a video from my deck with the hills behind me. It is kinda the same but I really tried hard to stay calm and not scream! Thanks so much for your support and… HAPPY PARENTING Jane E.
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NOTE: I tend to get over-enthusiastic often! I did an article a week and I imagine that is too much for you and I know it’s too much for me! So I will write an article the first part of the month and then I will write the second part of the article as the Newsletter, just as I wrote the fourth article into this newsletter.
References: 1. Anderson, J. (2011, May). The Teenage Brain: Under Construction. Retrieved from American College of Pediatricians: http://www.acpeds.org/the-college-speaks/position-statements/parenting-issues/the-teenage-brain-under-construction 2. Jenkins J.E. (2015). Rebuilding After the Explosions: Helping Parents Put the Pieces Back Together. Parker, CO: Outskirts Press quote taken from p. 147-148 |